One Extra Bedroom

A Bitter Reality

As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.

I wanted to do something more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbours to look after them, we returned to USA.

My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

Every year I decide to go to India But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rites the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA...

My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that had enough and wound-up everything and returned to India... I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.

Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this?

My father, even after staying in India,

Had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.

I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbours again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.

But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?'

I am still searching for an answer.................!!!

START THINKING

IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS ..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ..

START LIVING IT .

LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE

Ponder...Act...Respect

The son in his early thirties is a successful businessman living with his wife and son.

The father,

having spent most of his life at his birthplace,

hardly understands a splatter of Hindi or English,

forget Marathi.

But he doesn't care.

'I have come here to spend a few days with my son and his family.

I don't have to go out and socialize with the city people,' he said.

But the son is very excited about his father's rare visit to Bombay.

He wants to make the best of it.

He and his wife want to show him around the city.

And yes, the son enjoys those evening hours too, when he and his father go out and sit in a good bar,

sipping their favorite drink.

Last week he was in a very good mood.

'Let's go to a five star hotel's bar tonight,' he told his father.

It was a beautiful evening.

Talking about everything under the sun they had a few drinks.

As usual they were offered some salad, peanuts, wafers etc as accompaniments with their drinks.

The old man being almost toothless was not much interested in eating.

But that day when they got up to leave,

he simply took a handful of channa (roasted grams) and stuffed it in the fold of his dhoti.

He might have thought about munching on them,

sitting in the car

or whatever.

Unfortunately while walking in the lobby,

he missed a step and stumbled.

Down he went, scattering the channa on the plush carpet.

No problem .....

Now try to visualize that scenario.

Someone else in his son's place would have been mortified, embarrassed to death.

He might have cursed not his father but his own self for causing this awkward situation.

'Never again will I take my old man to such hotels',

he would have vowed.

No sir, not this son. Gently, with a smile,

he helped his father get back on his feet. Instead of feeling irritated or angry,

he was amused.

He found the whole incident very funny.

Laughing, they both went home and

on the way they decided to return to the same place the following Sunday.

The old man liked the place and liked the channa too.

Few days back,

at a friend's place they both described this event and

made everybody laugh.

Weren't you embarrassed? Somebody asked the son.

'Oh, come on now' replied the son.

'He is my father.

He talks in his native language,

prefers to wear a dhoti even to a posh city hotel,

takes channa from the bar to eat later,

does whatever he feels like....

So what?

Why should I feel embarrassed with his nature and habits?

Nobody has a right to stop him from doing whatever he feels comfortable with,

as long as it is not harmful to others.'

The son doesn't care what the staff in the hotel thought about that incident.

He says 'they should be concerned only with their bills and tips.

I am concerned about my Father's Happiness.'

The wife too totally agrees with the husband on this issue.

She feels there are enough other qualities in her father- in- law to feel proud of.

Accept them the way they are. . .

The above incident is not mentioned just to

show the love and devotion of a son for his father.

More than love it is a matter of understanding and a healthy respect for the other person's lifestyle.

A seventy plus old man doesn't want to change his lifestyle now.

He likes the way he eats or dresses or talks. In his eyes there is nothing wrong with the old ways of living.

And the son says,

ok, fine.

Every body has a right to live as per his wish.

Now at his age,

why should he be forced to learn to eat with a fork and knife,

if he doesn't want to?

I will feel bad if he is doing something morally wrong or indulging in some harmful activities.

But otherwise it is fine.

I am not going to try to change him at this stage.

He is my father.

I love him, respect him.

Hey folks,

can you think this way?

So many times we see people getting embarrassed by the so called

unsophisticated behaviour of their family members.

They keep on apologizing about their lack of class and manners or about their drawbacks to outsiders.

My wife can't speak proper English;

she doesn't know what's happening in the world,

so I avoid taking her out or introducing her to my friends and business associates...

My parents can't eat with a spoon and fork, so I don't take them to restaurants ...

My husband is working as an ordinary clerk,

so I feel awkward when I introduce him to my rich friends.

My brother is mentally challenged,

so I don't feel like going out with him...

Are you plagued with such thoughts or do you meet such people who think alike?

If you do,

please ask yourself.

Why do others or I feel this way?

Really what is there to feel ashamed of?

Most of the people always have this fear of

other peoples' opinions and comments.

What would others say??

Y should u????

Think...

Ponder...

Act...

Respect...

Indian Jugaad

A greater ‘hole in the wall’ you cannot imagine. A small fading sign on the top saying “Cellphoon reapars” barely visible through the street vendors crowding the Juhu Market in Mumbai. On my way to buy a new Blackberry, my innate sense of adventure made me stop my car and investigate. A shop not more than 6 feet by 6 feet. Grimy and uncleaned.

‘Can you fix a Blackberry ?”

‘Of course, show me”

”How old are you”

‘Sixteen’

Bullshit. He was no more than 10. Not handing my precious blackberry to a 10 year old in unwashed and torn T-shirt and pyjamas! At least if I buy a new one, they would extract the data for me. Something I have been meaning to do for a year now.

‘What’s wrong with it?”

‘Well, the roller track ball does not respond. It’s kind of stuck and I cannot operate it”

He grabs it from my hand and looks at it.

'You should wash your hands. Many customers have same problem. Roller ball get greasy and dirty, then no working’

Look who was telling me to wash my hands. He probably has not bathed for 10days, I leaned out to snatch my useless blackberry back..

” You come back in one hour and I fix it’.

I am not leaving all my precious data in this unwashed kid’s hands for an hour. No way.

“Who will fix it?”

‘Big brother’

‘How big is ‘big brother?’

‘big …. Umm ..thirty’

Then suddenly big brother walks in. 30 ??? He is no more than 19.

‘What problem?’ He says grabbing the phone from my greasy hand into his greasier hand. Obviously not trained in etiquette by an upmarket retail store manager.

‘Normal blackberry problem. I replace with original part now. You must wash your hand before you use this’.

What is this about me washing my hands suddenly?? 19 year old big brother rummages through a dubious drawer full of junk and fishes out a spare roller ball packed in cheap cellophane wrapper. Originalpart? I doubt it.  But by now I am in the lap of the real India and there is no escape as he fishes out a couple of screwdrivers and sets about opening my Blackberry.

“How long will this take?”

”Six minutes”

This I have to see. After spending the whole morning trying to find a Blackberry service centre and getting vague answers about sending the phone in for an assessment that might take a week, I settle down next to his grubby cramped work space. At least I am going to be able to watch all my stored data vanish into virtual space. People crowd around to see what’s happening. I am not breathing easy anyway. I tell myself this is an adventure and literallyhave to stop myself grabbing my precious Blackberry back and making a quickescape. But in exactly six minutes this kid handed my Blackberry back. He had changed the part and cleaned and serviced the whole phone. Taken it apart, and put it together. As I turned the phone on there was a horrific 2 minutes where the phone would not come on. I looked at him with such hostility that he stepped back.

‘you have more than thousand phone numbers ?”

‘yes’.

‘backed up?’

‘no’

‘Must back up. I do it for you. Never open phone before backing up’

‘You tell me that now?’

But then the phone came on and my data was still there. Everyone watching laughed and clapped. This was becoming a show. A six minute show. I asked him how much.

‘500 rupees’ He ventured uncertainly. People around watched in glee expecting a negotiation. That’s $10 dollars as against the Rs 30,000 ($ 600) I was about to spend on new Blackberry or a couple of weeks without my phone. I looked suitably shocked at his ‘high price’ but calmly paid him. Much to the disappointment of the expectant crowd.

‘do you have an I-Phone ? Even the new ‘4D one ?'

‘no, why”

‘I break the code for you and load any ‘app’ or film you want. I give you 10 film on your memory stick on this one, and change every week for small fee’

I went home having discovered the true entrepreneurship that lies at what we call the ‘bottom of the pyramid’. Some may call it piracy, which of course it is, but what can you say about two uneducated and untrained brothers aged 16 and 19 that set up a ‘hole in the wall' shop and can fix any technology that the greatest technologists in the world can throw at them. I smiled at the future of our country. If only we could learn to harness this potential.

‘Please wash your hands before use’ were his last words to me. Now I am feeling seriously unclean.

Comfort Zone

On his first day in office as President, when Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, one man stood up. He was a rich Aristocrat. He said, “Mr. Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family.” And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Lincoln.
But certain people are made of a totally different mettle. Lincoln looked at the man directly in the eye and said, “Sir, I know that my father used to make shoes for your family, and there will be many others here, because he made shoes the way nobody else can.
He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes; he poured his whole soul into them. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself. If you have any complaint I can make you another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father’s shoes. He was a genius, a great creator and I am proud of my father”.
The whole Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He was proud because his father did his job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.
Remember:
“No one can hurt you without your consent.”

“It is not what happens to us that hurts us. It is our response that hurts us.

Everything we want in life is waiting for us outside our comfort zone and inside our effort zone... we just need to make a move......