90:10 Secret

You're eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the coffee cup over. She breaks down in tears. 

After scolding her, you turn to your wife and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table, A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school, She misses the bus. Your wife must leave immediately for work.You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. 

Because you are late, you drive 80 km an hour in a 60 kmph speed limit. After a 15 minute delay and throwing Rs.500 (traffic fine) away, you arrived at school. 

     

Your daughter runs to the building without saying good-bye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase, Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to going home. When you arrive home you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter. Why?  Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. 

Here is what could have and should have happened. 

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.You gently say "It's OK honey, you just need to be more careful next time".    

Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase. You come back down in time look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.

You and your wife kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good a day you are having. 

Notice the difference. Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different. Why? 

Because of how you REACTED. You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% is determined by your reaction.

 10% of your time dedicated to Meditation helps you keep calm and going for the rest of 90% time.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret:

If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. 

You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. 

A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out, etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? 

Do you lose your temper? Pound the steering wheel till it fall off? 

Do you curse? 

Does your blood pressure skyrocket? 

Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? 

Why let the blue car ruin your drive.

Remember the 90-10 principle, and do not worry about it!

 You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep or get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying" energy and time into finding another job. The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passengers, etc. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. 

Now  you know the 90-10 secret. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results."

I've learned

I've  learned ...That  the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly  person.

I've  learned ....  That when you're in love, it shows.  

I've  learned ....  That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!'  makes my day.

I've  learned ....  That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the  most peaceful feelings in the  world.

I've  learned ....  That being kind is more important than being  right. 

I've  learned ....  That you should never say no to a gift from a child. 

I've  learned ....  That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the  strength to help him in some other way.  

I've  learned ....  That no matter how serious your life requires you to be,  everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.  

I've  learned ....  That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a  heart to understand.

I've  learned ....  That simple walks with my father around the block on summer  nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an  adult.

I've  learned ....  That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets  to the end, the faster it goes.

I've  learned ....  That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask  for.

I've  learned ....  That money doesn't buy class.

I've  learned ....  That it's those small daily happenings that make life so  spectacular.

I've  learned ....  That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be  appreciated and loved.

I've  learned ....  That to ignore the facts does not change the  facts. 

I've  learned ....  That love, not time, heals all  wounds.

I've  learned ....  That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. 

I've  learned ...  That life is tough, but I'm tougher.  

I've  learned ....  That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the  ones you miss.

I've  learned ....  That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock  elsewhere.

I've  learned ....  That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one  more time before she passed away.

I've  learned ....  That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because  tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've  learned .....  That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your  looks.

I've  learned .....  That when your newly born grandchild holds your little  finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for  life.

I've  learned ....  That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all  the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing

Baloons...

Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.

Suddenly the speaker stopped and started giving each person a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes.

Everyone was frantically searching for their name, pushing, colliding with each other, and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes, no one could find their own balloon.

Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began: This is exactly happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happines and this is the purpose of human life.

IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH ....

Why are we working like dogs in our prime years of life?

How many generations do we want to feed?

Most of us have two kids. Many have a single kid. 

How much is the "need" and how much do we actually "want"?? 

Think about it.

Would our next generation be incapable to earn, that we save so much for them!?!

Can not we spare one and a half days a week for friends, family and self??

Do you spend even 5% of your monthly income for your self enjoyment? 

Usually...No.

Why can't we enjoy simultaneously while we earn?   

Spare time to enjoy before you have slipped discs and large prostates.

We don't own properties, we just have temporary name on documents.

GOD laughs sarcastically, when someone says,

"I am the owner of this land"!!    

Do not judge a person only by the length of his car. 

Many of our science and maths teachers were great personalities riding on scooters!!    

It is not bad to be rich, but it is very unfair, to be only rich.

Let's get a LIFE, before life gets us, instead....

One day, all of us will get  separated  from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had. 

Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare... One day our children will see our pictures and ask 'Who are these people?' And we will smile with invisible tears  because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: 'IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH'

Dark Spots....

One day a professor entered the classroom and asked his students to prepare for a surprise test.  They waited anxiously at their desks for the test to begin.  The professor handed out the question paper, with the text facing down as usual.  Once he handed them all out, he asked his students to turn the page and begin.  To everyone's surprise, there were no questions....just a black dot in the center of the page.  The professor seeing the expression on everyone's face, told them the following:

"I want you to write what you see there."

The students confused, got started on the inexplicable task.

At the end of the class, the professor took all the answer papers and started reading each one of them aloud in front of all the students.  All of them with no exceptions, described the black dot, trying to explain its position in the middle of the sheet, etc. etc. etc.  After all had been read, the classroom silent, the professor began to explain:

"I am not going to grade on you this, I just wanted to give you something to think about.  No one wrote about the white part of the paper.  Everyone focused on the black dot - and the same happens in our lives.  We have a white paper to observe and enjoy, but we always focus on the dark spots.  Our life is a gift given to us by God, with love and care, and we always have reasons to celebrate - nature renewing itself everyday, our friends around us, the job that provides our livelihood, the miracles we see everyday.......

However we insist on focusing only on the dark spots - the health issues that bother us, the lack of money, the complicated relationship with a family member, the disappointment with a friend, a.s.o.

The dark spots are very small compared to everything we have in our lives, but they are the ones that pollute our minds.

Take your eyes away from the black spots in your life.  Enjoy each one of your blessings, each moment that life gives you. Be happy and live a life filled with LOVE," .

Contrasts !!!!

This left me speechless,,,,

Been to Laddakh for a week long family trip.  Local driver was 28 years old chap named Jigmet. 

Jigmet's family consist of his parents, wife and two kid girls. 

This was the conversation with Jigmet, during our drives in deep Himalayan Ranges. 

Prashant -: At the end of this week tourist season in Laddakh will end. Are you planning to go to Goa, the way Nepali Workers from Hotels do ? 

Jigmet -: No, I am local Laddakhi, so I won't go any where in winter. 

Prashant -:What work will you do in winter ? 

Jigmet -: Nothing, will sit up quietly at home ( chuckles and winks ) 

Prashant -: For six months, up to next April ? 

Jigmet -: I have one option for working. It's to go to Siachen. 

Prashant -: Siachen ? What you will do there ? 

Jigmet -: Work as Loader for Indian Army. 

Prashant -: You mean, you will join Indian Army as Jawan ? 

Jigmet -: No, I have crossed age limit to join Army. This is a contract job for Indian Army. With my few friend drivers, I will travel 265 kilometers to Siachen Base camp, My medical examination will be done there to check, if I am fit enough for this job. If I am declared fit, then Army will issue us uniforms, shoes, warm clothing, helmets, etc, We will have to walk up mountains for 15 days to reach Siachen. There is no motorable road to reach Siachen. We will work there for 3 months. 

Prashant -: What work will you do ? 

Jigmet -: It is of loader. To carry load on our back from one chowki to other in Siachen. All supplies are airdropped there. We do the job of picking it up and carrying it in Chowki. 

Prashant -: Why Army does not use Mules or vehicles for shifting of loads ? 

Jigmet -: Siachen is a glacier. Trucks or other vehicle will not work there. Ice scooters make too much of sound, which will attract attention from enemy around there. Use of vehicle will result in firing from other side.We go out in the middle of night, generally around 2 am and pick up load silently and bring back to barracks. We can't even use a torch. Mules or horses cannot be used because at the altitude of 18875 feet, in winter temperature of minus 50 no animal will survive. 

Prashant -: How can you lift load on your back where oxygen levels are low ? 

Jigmet -: we carry maximum 15 kgs at a time. and we work maximum for 2 hours in a day. Rest of the time is for recapturing 

Prashant -: That is very risky 

Jigmet -: Many of my friend died there. Some of them fell in bottomless crevasses. Some got shot down by enemy bullets. The biggest danger we have in Siachen is of frost bites.   

Prashant -: This is life threatening 

Jigmet -: Yes, but it's rewarding, We are paid Rs 18000/- per month. Since all expenses are taken care of, we can save around Rs 50000/- in these three months. This money is precious for my family, for my daughter's education.and finally I have feeling that I am serving Army, which means my nation. 

Look at the contrasts.The educated are wanting the country to be broken an the uneducated are willing to give their lives for our country.

Father's Letter

Here's the inspiring letter, from her father, that was read at one of Awards function

Dear Daughter, 

As you stand on the threshold of life’s journey, I want to share with you some lessons that life has taught me. Decades ago, as a little boy growing up in Bangalore, I started my tryst with badminton. In those days, there were no stadiums and courts where sports people could train. Our badminton court was the wedding hall near our house, and it was there that I learned everything about the game. 

Every day, we would wait to see if there was a function in the hall, and if there was none, we would rush there after school to play to our hearts’ content. Looking back, I realise that the most important thing about my childhood and adolescent years was my refusal to complain about a lot in life. I was thankful for the few hours a week we had the opportunity to hit the shuttle back and forth. In fact, the foundation on which I based my career and my life was the refusal to whinge or whine about anything. 

And that is what I want to tell you my children, that there is no substitute for perseverance, hardwork, determination and passion for what you choose to do. If you love what you do, nothing else matters — neither awards nor compensation, not even the gratification of seeing your face in newspapers or television. When I won the All England Championship, the prize money in badminton became significant — £3,000 — a huge amount in those days. But that did not distract me from the sheer joy of having been instrumental in putting India on the global map of this game. 

Daughter, at eighteen, when you told us that you wanted to shift to Mumbai for a career in modeling, we felt you were too young and too inexperienced to be alone in a big city and in an industry we knew nothing about. In the end, we decided to let you follow your heart and thought it would be cruel to not give our child the opportunity to go after a dream that she lived and breathed for. If you succeeded, it would make us proud, but even if you didn’t, you would not have any regrets that you did not try. 

Dear Daughter, I have learned that you can’t always win in life, that everything you want might not come your way. That events don’t always turn out as you want them to. To win some, you have to lose some. You have to learn to take life’s ups and downs in your stride. The amount of effort that I put in my game never varied from the first day till my retirement. Even during my toughest times, I focused on what I had, instead of dwelling on what I did not. I had the ability to make the best of the worst circumstances and remain steadfast to my goal. Remember how I constantly tell you both about the importance of making your way up in the world without waiting for your parents to pull strings? 

I believe it is best for children to work hard to make their dreams come true and to not have things handed to them on a platter. When you are home visiting us, daughter, you make your own bed, clear the table after meals, and sleep on the floor if there are guests at home. If you occasionally wonder why we refuse to treat you like a star, it is because you are our daughter first and a film star later. The cameras that follow you everywhere and the arc lights will eventually fade and what will remain is the real world. 

Strive to generate positivity around you even though you are too new and too small a player to effect a big change. You are in an industry where there’s always going to be big money, but I believe that it is important to try to be the best in whatever you do regardless of the money. The things that really matter in life are relationships, honesty, respect for your parents and elders. Material success is important, not fundamental to happiness and peace of mind. I can’t tell you enough about the rejuvenating power of prayers and a little faith. 

Spare a few minutes of your day to close your eyes and meditate, to think about God and you will see how much faith in His power will strengthen you. In the end, when your career is behind you, what remains is family, the friends that you have made. Live a life that is healthy and one that will allow you to live with your own conscience. Everything else is transient. And remember, no matter what, we are always going to be there for you.

Lovingly,

Pappa

Communicate with HIM

A construction supervisor from 16th Floor of a building was calling a worker on ground floor.

Because of noise the worker did not hear his call.

To draw worker's attention, the supervisor threw a 10 Rupee note near the worker.

Worker saw the note & he picked up , put it in his pocket & continued to work.

Again to draw worker's attention the supervisor threw 500 Rupee note & again the worker did the same,

meanwhile the supervisor picked a small Stone & threw on the worker.

The stone hit the worker.

This time the worker looked up & the supervisor communicated with him.

.

.

This Story is same as to our 'LIFE'...

God wants to communicate with us ,but we are busy doing our worldly jobs, that is why  give us Small & Big gifts......

We just keep them without looking from where we got it, We are like the worker just keeping the gifts without thanking God, We just say We are LUCKY.

And when we are Hit with a small stone, which We call PROBLEMS, then only We look Up & Communicate with him.

Thats why it is said. .....

He gives, gives and forgives 

And

We get, get and forget..

Make smile your habit.

What is SMILE? Smile is a beautiful gift by god given to only human being. Neither trees, plants can smile nor animals, birds can smile only we can smile.

Smile makes you beautiful.

Smile attracts people.

With Smile one can face life's big problems.

With Smile you can make lots of friends.

Smile can make you famous. You like smiling people so people will like you if always smile.

Smile which comes internally. No artificial smile. Now the question arises How can smile 

internally? Sharing, charities, satisfied with what have, speaking truth, helping others, spending time with family and friends, enjoying every little things in life which we ignore considering unimportant things etc. Smile means positivity. Smile will never let you feel sad. Smile is a facial exercise which prevents wrinkles and bring glow on the face. No matter how many problems you have put your problems down and keep smiling. You will have positive energy.

Even god loves those who walk with a smile through rough patches of life.

Make smile your habit.

Who I am , Who I was & Who I will be ...

Life is not out to get you despite the things you have been through.”

Do you know what depression is? Is it just another word for sadness? Sure, it’s that feeling you get when your childhood dog passes away, or that sting in your heart when the person you love most turns their back on you. But what is it really? Most people only view “depression” as a temporary feeling, a state of sadness, but what if I told you it was more than that; more than a feeling of sadness? What if it was a constant state of isolation and pain, like you had the weight of a thousand bricks sitting upon your chest and not one person noticed? Would it still be considered a feeling or something more? These are questions I asked myself over and over again while I tried to figure out why I was so unhappy. Depression, to an extent, is no longer considered a feeling, it is a disorder. But of course, nobody ever wants to think much less admit they have a disorder so they pretend it’s not there. They go on with their melancholy lives and deal with the pain. This had to be my biggest mistake. Pretending nothing was wrong.

I was two years old when my parents got divorced, I never truly understood why. I thought people who were married had the happily ever after ending. In October of 2013, I found out this wasn’t the case whatsoever. I was spending the day with my father; it all seemed to be going great when out of nowhere he became very angry and aggressive. I had never seen him like that, of course I tried to calm him down but it took the opposite effect and he began spitting words like venom at me. It was all such a blur to me that I don’t remember how I got home to my mother. I cried for hours before telling her everything he had said to me and done. I expected her to be upset with me, but she simply said it was okay and that she wanted to tell me something. That was the day I found out my father had been abusive to me and my mother when I was too young to remember. I felt as if my entire life had been based on a lie, but the worst part is the fact that the man I saw as a hero became a twisted image of a monster. It took months for be to realize this was my break; the point where my sadness from my past became more than a feeling. It became my whole being. I didn’t think I would ever truly be happy again.

I was in and out of therapy and hospitals, my life felt like it was a pile of medications, councilors, and self-hatred. It’s been now two years since I felt my world fall to pieces, and in those two years I have drastically changed, I thought I couldn’t get better, but I was wrong. I decided I didn’t want to go to therapy, or be on medication that made me think I was happy. I wanted to make myself happy because at the end of the day I only had me to rely on. I stopped my destructive habits, stopped telling myself I was worthless and had no future. I stopped letting depression define who I was and what the future held for me.

It seemed impossible at the time, but I woke up one morning and decided I was going to be happy and turn my life around, and I have. Don’t get me wrong, it was not easy; I had to push myself mentally and physically every day to just get out of bed, no matter how much I wanted to lay there and drown in my own emptiness. Every day it got a bit easier, I felt better. I made changes in my life, from my attitude to my room décor. I stayed away from those who made me feel less than what I know I am, I revolved around the idea that a positive mind leads to a positive life, and that seems to be working. Sure, I have my downs, days where I have to push myself harder, and remember why I can’t go back to the life I had. But those days are a reminder of who I was, and who I don’t ever want to be again. Being happy all the time is nearly impossible when you are a human being. Sometimes you have to let the sadness is and cry a bit. Sometimes you have to be sad first to be happy, and there is nothing wrong with that.

At one point you realize life isn’t as bad as you feel and tell yourself it is. You wake up to beautiful sunrises, drink amazing teas, read captivating books, and see beauty in things you once thought were dull. You see beauty in yourself. The moment you realize you are more than someone else’s opinion, more than a feeling, more than a disorder, you become stronger. I am not who I was two years ago, I now find happiness in the small things in life and I shut out what hurts me or lessens me in any way. I don’t put up with anything or anyone anymore, it’s my life, my only life, and I will remain doing whatever it takes to love myself and everything I surround myself with. The road to recovery can be a long twisted blur sometimes, but if you are able to dig up the smallest amount of hope that things get better, they will. Who I am, is someone I fought to be, who I was is someone I will never be again, and who I will be, is up to the hope I continue to build within myself.

Things aren’t always what they seem !!!

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.

The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room.

Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, Things aren’t always what they seem”

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.

After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night’s rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears.

Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused.

The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die…

“Things aren’t always what they seem,” the older angel replied.

“When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.

Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn’t find it.”

“Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife I gave him the cow instead.

Things aren’t always what they seem.”

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don’t turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust that every outcome is always to your advantage. You just might not know it until sometime later…

Some people come into our lives and quickly go…

Some people become friends and stay awhile…leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts… and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!