Be Yourself

One day a king came to the garden and saw withering and dying trees, bushes and flowers. An oak said that he dies because it can’t be as high as a pine. Applying to a pine tree, the king found her falling down because it can’t give grapes like a grapevine. And grapevine was dying because it couldn’t blossom like a rose. Soon he found a single plant, pleasing heart, bloomy and fresh. 

The king asked:

-All the trees and flowers here are withering, and you are flourishing, why?

– I think it comes naturally. I believe that when you planted me, you wanted to get a joy. If you would like to grow an oak, grapes or rose, you would plant them. So I think that I can’t be anything else than what I am. And I try to develop my best qualities.

Look at yourself. You can be only yourself. It is impossible for you to become someone else. You can joy and blossom or you can wither if you do not accept yourself.

Overcoming Adversities

The Snake was crawling on the ground. The Eagle flew to her and said:

– How unfortunate you are, doomed to crawl all your life. Not like me – I am destined to fly.

The Snake looked at the Eagle and said:

– You are right Eagle, I can’t fly. But only I know what it means to fly.

– How can you know that? – The Eagle smiled, – you don’t have wing!

– Thoughts are my wings, – said the Snake proudly, – Dreams are my heaven.

 While crawling on the ground I close my eyes and I see the heaven. I imagine that I’m crawling in heaven not on the ground. Yes, it’s impossible to crawl in heaven, you can only fly. It means that in those moments I am flying. In my free thoughts I am learning to fly, Eagle. 

With my soul I am arising to the high heaven, so when my time comes and my life as a snake comes to an end, I could ascend into the blue heaven, into the endless heaven and fly, to fly and not think about anything, enjoying my freedom. And I won’t be afraid to fly, because it won’t be a new thing for me. 

For you Eagle, the wings were given as you were born, but not for me. But the heaven will make us equal. We will be flying together one day, Eagle, under the clouds. 

Only I will be stronger and freer than you, because I have learned how to fly without having wings, simply crawling on the ground. Both things are available for me. I am not afraid to lose my wings because I know how to crawl, and I am not afraid to gain wings because I know how to fly. And what will you do, Eagle, if you lose your wings?

Hard Times

One day a dull and exhausted by the illnesses and burdens of life peasant came to the wise man. He sat in front of the wise man, who gave him a heartfelt and warm smile. The peasant breathed out heavily letting out a wave of mourning. He began complaining about his life, that he has a hard burden that he doesn’t see a bright daylight at all, it’s like one problem falls on his head or the other – they have twisted him between the grindstones so much that he can’t even breathe in some fresh air. Later, he began blaming all of his relatives, who, in his opinion, were guilty for his misfortunes, whether the circumstances didn’t turn out right for him, or something else.

The wise man listened to him in silence, and when the peasant once again contritely inquired the wise man, why is it so unfair, what should he do and how to find peace, the wise man got up from his seat and invited the peasant to follow him.

They came out of the hut and went to a lakeside, which was not far away and where from time to time flying fishes were jumping, trotting fast above the surface, catching food.

The wise man led the peasant to the lakeside and said to him:

“Do you see the smoothness of the lake? The depths are full with life. There are fishes that always stay in water, and if suddenly the lake got polluted, they couldn’t see further their own nose, they would hardly recognise where the source of the pollution was, and they would keep swimming in circles. And there are also fishes that got wings and they can rise above the water of the lake, looking at it from the heights of their flight. So this is my advice: instead of complaining about your life, come to this lakeside from time to time, watch the flying fishes and try to understand what I wanted to say to you.”

Letting Go ....

Once there was a free bird. She floated in the sky, catching midges for lunch, swam in the summer rain trickles, and was like many other birds.

But she had a habit: every time some event occurred in her life, whether good or bad, the bird picked up a stone from the ground. Every day she sorted out her stones, laughed remembering joyful events, and cried remembering the sad ones.

A bird always took the stones with her, whether she was flying in the sky or walking on the earth, she never forgot about them. The years have passed, and free bird got a lot of stones, but she still kept on sorting them, remembering the past. It was becoming more and more difficult to fly, and one day a bird was unable to do this.

The bird that was free some time ago, could not walk on the earth, she was unable to make a move by her own. She could not catch midges anymore; only rare rain gave her the necessary moisture. But a bird bravely endured all the hardships, guarding her precious memories.

After some time a bird died of the starvation and thirst. And only a pitiful bunch of worthless stones reminded of her for a long time.

Choosing Career

One doctor became the greatest surgeon in the country and became the president of the National society of surgeons. For this reason, a celebration in his honour was held. But he was sad.

His friend came up to him and said:

– You achieved something that others can’t even dream about – you became the greatest surgeon. Why are you so sad?

– The thing is that I achieved something that I didn’t even wanted, – the surgeon said, – I never wanted to be a surgeon and now I can’t escape from it. If I would suffer a failure then maybe I would have a chance to do something that I really love. And now I am chained to a thing that I don’t even like.

– You must be joking? – The friend exclaimed, – the biggest honour for a surgeon is to become the president of a National society. Your wife is happy, your children are happy. Everyone has the highest respect for you!

– But I don’t respect myself – that’s what bad. I wanted to be a dancer, but my parents were against it, and I’ve listened to them. I was weak. I became a great surgeon, but I am very mediocre in the field that I wanted to dedicate my life to. That is why I am unhappy now.

Second Chance

A girl was standing on the roof of a high building. After finding out that her husband was cheating on her, she wanted to end with her life. After a short hesitation, she made a step forward. The girl fell fast towards the ground. But just before the death, the fear filled her soul. Suddenly she felt like she was in someone’s embrace. She opened her eyes and saw an angel, who was holding her in his hands.

– Why didn’t you let me fall? – She asked with anger.

– I will let you go if you agree to die understanding that there won’t be any memories of you left on earth, nothing.

– How is that? – asked the girl in surprise.

– You don’t have children, who would remember you, your mother is old and she will die soon. And everyone else…they will forget about you soon…

– And my husband? He will blame himself for my death. If he will feel remorse all his life, he will remember me.

– That won’t happen, he doesn’t love you, he is happy with another woman. And he won’t blame himself for a long time, soon he will forget you.

– Fine, I believe you. But I have things, photographs.

– Your apartment will burn down after one year. And all your things will turn into ash…

– But my friends have photos of me.

– You don’t have friends, – the angel said quite coldly.

– But… I am on the collective school photos.

Suddenly, the angel started to unclamp his hands.

– You are letting me go because I proved to you that there will be memories about me left? – The girl asked mockingly.

– No. You are clinging to the strings so hard; you are convincing me that I would let you die, just like others are clinging to some futile opportunities so that they could live. I don’t want to spend these moments with you, because I could help other people during that time. I want to give people a chance to live, not to die.

If all our wishes come true !!!

There was a little, but always cranky girl. Everything was bad for her. It wasn‘t enough toys, the gifts she was getting were wrong. She wished to meet an enchantress that would turn her life a fairy tale.

One day an enchantress came to the little girl and said that she will fulfil one of her wishes. The girl became very happy at first, but then she started to think: she had a lot of wishes and all of them were important for her. The girl thought for a long time, she could not choose just one. Then kind enchantress said that she gives her the fulfilment of one wish every day. The girl became happier: now all her dreams will come true. She thanked kind enchantress and ran home.

From that day she was waiting for every morning with joy and enthusiasm: because one more dream will come true for her. The days passed, the dreams came true… But soon the little girl realized that fulfilment of the wishes does not give her joy and happiness which she hoped for. Many wishes brought her disappointment, and some even a pain. Almost every dream was an empty little girl’s caprice. Being satisfied, she suddenly realized that she did not want this.

The girl was getting sadder and sadder day by day, and wish-fulfilment did not bring any joy to her. Soon she started to fear her own dreams.

So the girl went to the kind enchantress and asked her to take her terrible gift back. She was afraid to live, afraid to wake up every day, waiting for an imminent execution of another wish. Crying, she asked an enchantress to fulfil only one her dream: to live as she lived before and enjoy life. And that her many wishes would remain only the wishes, from which she will select the one she will bring to her life.

Kind enchantress had mercy upon the little girl. She waved her magic wand and disappeared. The girl ran home. She was happy, because she knew that now she would laboriously seek for her one big cherished dream, not wasting time with short-term, in fact, quite unnecessary whims.

The Plough

The war was going. Men were fighting. Women were carrying food to soldiers day and night, nursing the injured. In the village only old people and children remained.

One old man took an old plough and started sharpening it, mending it while singing something. His wife said to him with annoyance:

– You have a stone heart! Your sons joined a deadly battle, the village is in mourning. Your comrades are thinking about the fate of the village, and you, knowing this, are mending the plough and singing a song! If someone would ask, whom are you trying for, what would you say? Tomorrow the enemy will come here, they will kill you and us too, and they will take your plough.

– Woman, what are you talking? They will kill us, but not the plough. I’m building – not destroying. The world is resting on this plough: if we survive, we will need the plough, and if we die, maybe the love for labour will awaken in those who will take it. Maybe even I will be blessed. We don’t know, what is what in this world.

A Pound of Butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker 

decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that 

he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked 

the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, amour Honor, I 

am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge 

asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, 

long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a 

pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put 

it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be 

blamed, it is the baker."

What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others. Whenever you take an action, ask yourself this question: Am I giving fair value for the wages or money I hope to make? Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are they deceiving? Themselves

Never give up hope.

On Christmas day of 2012, my partner of 16 years very suddenly passed away as we were getting ready to Skype with our families for the holiday. He took his last breath in my arms. 

My life was ripped apart. I have periods of time I do not remember. I now know, a broken heart is a very real thing. I stumbled through the days. The laughter was gone. The joy and beauty were gone. 

A few months later I had to move. Pack everything in my world and move, now alone. 

I made it through. Stronger, more loving, more compassionate. I am alive and living a life I never dreamed of. I am surrounded by love and laughter. My eyes and my heart are wide open! I am so grateful to have known such love, and to know such love again. 

From death, came life. Never give up hope.

A Hug !!!

One day many years ago shortly after my husband passed away I sat on a bench near his grave in solitude and was remembering the wonderful life we had.

Tears were in my eyes and on my face. A young woman came near to visit the grave of a friend of hers and saw me. When she turned to leave she asked me if I was OK. 

I said I was, and she said to me, "you look like you could use a hug" at which time she approached me and gave me a big hug. 

It really restored my faith in human kindness. I will never forget that young woman or that incident.

Volley Ball

I had just a very wonderful day but, all my days are always wonderful to me! But today was completely different, today there was a bulletin board saying that they'll need to find Volleyball players for the girls and I was so happy! 

I love playing volleyball when my mother taught me how to play. I was so excited that I couldn't wait to play! Then I read more what was in that bulletin board and said that there would be an audition after three weeks! "Three weeks?!" I thought and think about it. 

I do know how to play volleyball but I'm not much of an expert in doing it but! I still have to try. After that I was determined to practice volleyball everyday, and since that day I planned on practicing starting the next day and I did. I practiced and practiced harder each day and I never get tired of doing the same practices through all the days, and finally, the day has come. I was so prepared for this and hurried to the gym to audition. Whence I had reached the gym I was surprised to see for like, 12 or 14 girls lining up! and I guess I was the last one to arrive. 

Then our auditions began, some of the girls failed to pass the auditions and some passed the auditions problem is, there was only 1 slot left to complete the 6 girls to join the volleyball team and suddenly I felt nervous because the person in front of me was going to take her serve. Then the girl hit the ball and then. . . . . . the ball didn't pass over the net. The girl slapped her forehead and left, leaving me standing in the middle of the court. 

Then the coach spoke "okay, you, serve" she handed me the ball and I caught it with my hands. As the ball was in my hands, my hands were suddenly sweating and so am I! I then suddenly became nervous about this 'maybe I should back off' I told myself very unsure that I will pass the auditions. Then it hit me. All of these practices that I've done the past 3 weeks was all for the day of the auditions where I'm sure I can pass it perfectly! I didn't practice playing volleyball for nothing, I practiced this for today, I was determined to do this so i have to do this with all my fighting spirit! Then I began, I came to a pause, inhaled deeply and exhaled. I swing my arm way back ahead and hit the ball and it. . . . . .and it. . . . . . . .and it. . . . . . . . . . Yes! and it passed over the net!!! I was so happy i jumped in joy! that was the highest serve I did in the past few weeks I practiced serving and this, this was the best I did! 

The coach clapped and the people around me gave an standing ovation and I was so proud of myself. And I realized that determination can make you to a successful ending.

P.R.A.I.S.E

The importance of motivation was demonstrated early last century by Lewis Terman, a pioneer in the measurement of mental abilities. He tested a quarter of a million school children and found about 0.5 percent to be highly gifted.

Terman followed up 25 years later and found, not surprisingly, that most were holding high positions in their careers. However, a number of them had become manual labourers,working as fitters, petrol-pump attendants and similar jobs. These gifted children failed to succeed in life because they lacked the urge to succeed. They lacked motivation. Terman compared them to Rolls-Royces with magnificent engines,but no petrol in the tank.

From personal experience, I can affirm that tools and techniques are useless if you lack the motivation to succeed. It is like giving the best tools to a worker who is not motivated.He will not create anything meaningful.

Once, a social worker told me about a mother, a corporate high-flyer, who spent little time with her family. She felt bad about it and tried to compensate by giving her children lots of pocket money and the best of everything. One day, she bought her two sons the best computers, thinking it would make them study better. Instead, the boys spent their entire time playing computer games and totally neglected their studies. When she unplugged the computers, her elder son scolded her with vulgarities, while her younger son, only 11 years old, beat her until she was bruised all over — and had to seek the social worker’s help.

Motivation has to come from within. Even young children need to motivate themselves. Parents and other family members

can, however, encourage them, counsel them and offer moral support.

I succeeded with the help of PRAISE, a life skills model that I developed from the study of strategy whilst in the

navy. PRAISE provides the SUCCESS 6 Formula:

• Set the Prizedream. This will initiate the process of change and lead you to discover a lifetime CHANGE formula.

• Use internal Rules. When you are guided by your own internal rules, you learn to think out of the box. This gives you a lifetime CREATIVITY formula.

• Conduct Analysis. Examine the factors that are for or against you and identify the higher cause that drives you. This is your lifetime PASSION formula.

• Cultivate I nvincibility. Acquire the virtues that lead to invincibility. These give you a lifetime FULFILMENT formula.

• E xecute the S trategy. Learn from your failures. Turn setbacks into opportunities and weaknesses into strengths.This ongoing process equips you with a lifetime LEARNING formula.

• S ustain E xcellence. Achieve it not once or twice, but over and over again in a cycle of success unlimited. Acquire a

lifetime EXCELLENCE formula. And…

After I topped my master’s degree course, I went on to apply PRAISE in my corporate career, entrepreneurship and

other life’s challenges. I have been using the PRAISE model for over 20 years now and it has never failed me.

Dream Job

Susan was looking for a job, so she sent her resume all over town. She scoured the newspapers every day, and by the end of the month, Susan had applied to over one hundred openings. “Surely,” Susan thought, “I will find my dream job soon!”

But many days passed and Susan’s phone didn’t ring once. She began to worry – was there something wrong with her resume?

Finally, two weeks after she sent in her 107th resume, she got a call for her first interview!

Soon after, Susan got another two calls and she ended up with three interviews scheduled.

“Finally,” she thought, “I’m one step closer to my dream job!”

So Susan went to her interviews and she thought she made a wonderful impression, but to Susan’s disappointment, she only heard back about one job, and it was the lowest paid, least fulfilling opportunity of the three.

“Should I take it?”, she wondered.

The thought of working every day at a job she hated made her feel hopeless.

Susan was afraid she might not find anything else, so she accepted the job, but vowed to continue looking for something better. A few weeks after accepting the low-paying, unfulfilling job, Susan got a call from a company who hadn’t got back to her for weeks. It turns out they needed someone with Susan’s exact skill set!

Finally, after some hard work and persistence, Susan was offered the job of her dreams – the money was good

and it was just the kind of work she was looking for.

MORAL: Stay positive in the face of disappointment. New opportunities will appear when you least expect it. Wow! What a great reminder that discouragement is the number one enemy to our success! Discouragement is a more potent enemy than incompetence, more potent than illness, and more potent than poverty. All of those things can be overcome, but discouragement can overcome us if we allow it to! Everyone has down times and things don’t always go our way. But of course, everything can’t always go our way! If we were successful 100% of the time, we’d never try harder to get better, quicker, wiser, and kinder – we’d just wallow in our same old boring routine.

So look at the disappointment in your life as an opportunity to gain. Strive to do what needs to be done, then look for a way to do it better! There’s always a way around an obstacle.

Susan didn’t give up when she didn’t hear anything after she sent her first resume, nor did she give up after her hundredth resume. She always kept moving one foot in front of the other and disallowed discouragement from keeping her down. When Susan took the job that seemed to be a dead end, she still didn’t give up. She took the job that was offered and kept looking for something better. She knew something else was out there... and there was!

When we put in our best effort, we create opportunities, we find opportunities, and opportunities find us. When we allow disappointment and discouragement to take over, we don’t see the hidden gems right in front of our own faces!

What if Susan had stopped her pursuit of her dream job when she took the dead end position? What if she had allowed her disappointment to dictate her actions? What if she ignored the phone call about her dream job offer? Well, she wouldn’t be very happy at all! She would be suffering an inner tension day in and day out.

We’re so busy feeling sorry for ourselves that we often miss the chance to grow in patience, peace and serenity as we work and wait for better chances to come along. Opportunities will come. They always do when we work, wait and watch for them.

Self-Reflection Questions:

• When I face disappointment, how do I react?

• Do I have a strategy for moving forward if the path I’m on now seems like a dead end?

• What can I do to prepare myself to grow and learn from discouragement?

• How many times have I allowed discouragement to keep me from new opportunities?

Your wake up call

You've already heard about her.

Perhaps you have even seen her.

If you haven't you should.

Above all the roar and thunder. Above all the praise and cheering. Far above all else, there is a message here for all of us.

I love happy endings. I love when the under dog wins against all odds. The David and Goliath stories take my heart and squeezes it until I can no longer restrain myself. I will jump up and cheer. I will shout to roof tops in celebration.

Every once in awhile the world is reminded that we put frivilous, fake and superficial ahead of reason, compassion and dignity.

Then God steps in and says "look...you are a masterpiece. You are a bright shining example of my work. Lift up your head and hold it high! Your gifts may not be obvious to the world, but who are they to judge my creation!"

Today, break the bonds that tie you down. Loosen the grip you have held on words like "not good enough," "failure," "ugly," "useless," "unworthy," and "hopeless."

You may indeed need to work harder. You may have to fight prejudice. You may be ridiculed and mocked for even thinking you can succeed. But you are His child. You are better than all of that. You are more than you ever imagined and greater than all you believe.

Stand up! Get moving! Start planning! Discover today what God sees in you, by asking Him to reveal it in all of its glory.

You need not stand on a stage, in a spot light, write an epic novel or discover the cure for cancer. But you must, I repeat, you MUST, live up to your full potential. Perhaps as a wife, mother, husband, father, teacher, mechanic, singer, dancer, painter, friend, lover, janitor, plumber or anything you believe is your gift to the world.

For as the ugly duckling became the graceful swan, you will develop into the perfection only you can be. The greatest, shining example of YOU!

Now, go and watch this ordinary, simple, woman who is mocked by the crowd and judges until...until God said "Shut up and listen! She is my Child!"

Word of affirmation...

It was a Monday morning. A dark, wet Noveber morning when it seemed like it would take a million years to get to summer again. So dark I was sure I did not even remember what summer looked like anymore. And no affirmation seemed to work. I thought bears got it right - what a perfect idea to sleep through the lousiest part of the year and wake up when spring came!

I got into a conversation with a coworker about this when I got to work.

- You don't think words of affirmation work? He asked me.

- Today - no.

- I used to think so too, he said, - Until I realized the effect my words had on a certain person.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it was someone I knew pretty well. I have to say I treated him rather badly.

- You? But you are always so positive! How did you treat him badly?

- I told him I did not like anything about him, really. I looked at him and said he had grown a belly. That his face was sagging. His hair was thinning. I told him I did not even like his name.

I could not find words. I just did not believe him. He could see what I was thinking and nodded.

- I swear this is true. You can imagine what it did to his self esteem. If we hear such negative affirmations about ourselves, we tend to believe them, don't you agree?

Well I sure agreed.

- I still cannot believe you! I said, - You are always encouraging others. How can it be possible you would have said such words to anyone you know?

- Such words and even more, he nodded, - Now I am not proud of myself, but I thought this would be useful for you to know when you wonder if words of affirmation work.It wasn't only what I said - I also did pretty bad things to him. When he was feeling low, I did not want to sympathize but told him he should snap out of it and play cheerful. When he was hungry I did not give him a chance to eat proper food. When he felt like doing something fun I said to him that he was being childish and having fun was not productive. After all he was always short on cash so obviously he was a lazy worker.

- No...

- And worst of all - when he was sick and needed care, I did not care. I told him to get up and get to work. And when he did, I never told him he did good work. Oh no, I only told him he could do better.

I knew my coworker had been a boss at a smaller firm before. But still - surely he would never have behaved in such a way towards his employees?

- You could say I was ashamed of him, he said, - I wanted to get rid of him because he just wasn't good enough for me - but couldn't.

- But… That was heartless!

He nodded.

- I agree. I was a horrible person. I was cruel towards him. And I could see the effect of my words on him. He was depressed most of the time, tried to drown his sorrows by watching TV, drinking too much and calling in sick when ever he could.

- Well no wonder! I exclaimed, - But I have to say I never would have believed you could behave in such a way!

- Then one day it all changed, he said.

- What happened?

- I stood there in front of the bathroom mirror one morning. I saw the dark circles under his eyes, I saw the excess weight. I saw the hair that needed cutting. And I saw the eyes that once had looked at the world eagerly. Now they were so sad and tired. And there and then I realized he deserved better.I knew the time had come to start finding good things about myself.So I told the man whom I had disliked so many years that he was a good person after all. I decided to like every likeable thing about myself and tell it to myself too.

My jaw dropped.

- Yes. The man I disliked all those years was me. When I started working on liking myself, and telling that to myself every morning in front of the bathroom mirror, miracles began to happen. I reversed the negativity of the past. Positive words of affirmation have had a great effect!

I looked at him - full of positive energy, in good shape, always ready to encourage others.

- Wow…

He winked his eye.

- So how about having a little positive conversation with the bathroom mirror? The person in there has the greatest effect on you!

Will Power

The year 1993 wasn't shaping up to be the best year of my life. I was into my eighth year as a single parent, had three kids in college, my unmarried daughter had just given birth to my first grandchild and I was about to break up with a very nice man I'd dated for over two years. Faced with all this, I was spending lots of time feeling sorry for myself.

That April, I was asked to interview and write about a woman who lived in a small town in Minnesota. So during Easter vacation, Andrew, my thirteen-year- old, and I drove across two states to meet Jan Turner.

Andrew dozed most of the way during the long drive, but every once in a while I'd start a conversation.

"She's handicapped, you know."

"So what's wrong with her? Does she have a disease?"

"I don't think so. But for some reason, she had to have both arms and legs amputated."

"Wow. How does she get around?"

"I'm not sure. We'll see when we get there."

"Does she have any kids?"

"Two boys - Tyler and Cody - both adopted. She's a single parent, too. Only she's never been married."

"So what happened to her?"

"Four years ago Jan was just like me, a busy single mother. She was a full-time music teacher at a grade school and taught all sorts of musical instruments. She was also the music director at her church."

Andrew fell asleep again before I could finish telling him what little I did know about what had happened to Jan. As I drove across Minnesota, I began to wonder how the woman I was about to meet could cope with such devastating news that all four limbs had to be amputated. How did she learn to survive? Did she have live-in help?

When we arrived in Willmar, Minnesota, I called Jan from our hotel to tell her that I could come to her house and pick her and the boys up, so they could swim at our hotel while we talked.

"That's okay, Pat, I can drive. The boys and I will be there in ten minutes. Would you like to go out to eat first? There's a Ponderosa close to your hotel."

"Sure, that'll be fine," I said haltingly, wondering what it would be like to eat in a public restaurant with a woman who had no arms or legs. And how on earth does she drive? I wondered.

Ten minutes later, Jan pulled up in front of the hotel. She got out of the car, walked over to me with perfect posture on legs and feet that looked every bit as real as mine, and extended her right arm with its shiny hook on the end to shake my hand. "Hello, Pat, I'm sure glad to meet you. And this must be Andrew."

I grabbed her hook, pumped it a bit and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yes, this is Andrew." I looked in the back seat of her car and smiled at the two boys who grinned back. Cody, the younger one, was practically effervescent at the thought of going swimming in the hotel pool after dinner.

Jan bubbled as she slid back behind the driver's seat, "So hop in. Cody, move over and make room for Andrew."

We arrived at the restaurant, went through the line, paid for our food, and ate and talked amidst the chattering of our three sons. The only thing I had to do for Jan Turner that entire evening was unscrew the top on the ketchup bottle.

Later that night, as our three sons splashed in the pool, Jan and I sat on the side and she told me about life before her illness.

"We were a typical single-parent family. You know, busy all the time. Life was so good, in fact that I was seriously thinking about adopting a third child."

My conscience stung. I had to face it - the woman next to me was better at single parenting than I ever thought about being.

Jan continued. "One Sunday in November of 1989, I was playing my trumpet at the front of my church when I suddenly felt weak, dizzy and nauseous. I struggled down the aisle, motioned for the boys to follow me and drove home. I crawled into bed, but by evening I knew I had to get help."

Jan then explained that by the time she arrived at the hospital, she was comatose. Her blood pressure had dropped so much that her body was already shutting down. She had pneumococcal pneumonia, the same bacterial infection that took the life of Muppets creator Jim Henson. One of its disastrous side effects is an activation of the body's clotting system, which causes the blood vessels to plug up. Because there was suddenly no blood flow to her hands or feet, she quickly developed gangrene in all four extremities. Two weeks after being admitted to the hospital, Jan's arms had to be amputated at mid-forearm and her legs at mid-shin.

Just before the surgery, she said she cried out, "Oh God, no! How can I live without arms and legs, feet or hands? Never walk again? Never play the trumpet, guitar, piano or any of the instruments I teach? I'll never be able to hug my sons or take care of them. Oh God, don't let me depend on others for the rest of my life!"

Six weeks after the amputations as her dangling limbs healed, a doctor talked to Jan about prosthetics. She said Jan could learn to walk, drive a car, go back to school, even go back to teaching.

Jan found that hard to believe so she picked up her Bible. It fell open to Romans, chapter twelve, verse two: "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you."

Jan thought about that - about being a new and different person - and she decided to give the prosthetics a try. With a walker strapped onto her forearms near the elbow and a therapist on either side, she could only wobble on her new legs for two to three minutes before she collapsed in exhaustion and pain. Take it slowly, Jan said to herself. Be a new person in all that you do and think, but take it one step at a time.

The next day she tried on the prosthetic arms, a crude system of cables, rubber bands and hooks operated by a harness across the shoulders. By moving her shoulder muscles she was soon able to open and close the hooks to pick up and hold objects, and dress and feed herself. Within a few months, Jan learned she could do almost everything she used to do - only in a new and different way.

"Still, when I finally got to go home after four months of physical and occupational therapy, I was so nervous about what life would be like with my boys and me alone in the house. But when I got there, I got out of the car, walked up the steps to our house, hugged my boys with all my might, and we haven't looked back since."

As Jan and I continued to talk, Cody, who'd climbed out of the hotel pool, stood close to his mom with his arm around her shoulders. As she told me about her newly improved cooking skills, Cody grinned. "Yup," he said, "she's a better mom now than before she got sick, because now she can even flip pancakes!" Jan laughed like a woman who is blessed with tremendous happiness, contentment and unswerving faith in God.

Since our visit, Jan has completed a second college degree, this one in communications, and she is now an announcer for the local radio station. She also studied theology and has been ordained as the children's pastor at her church, the Triumphant Life Church in Willmar. Simply put, Jan says, "I'm a new and different person, triumphant because of God's unending love and wisdom."

After meeting Jan, I was a new and different person as well. I learned to praise God for everything in my life that makes me new and different, whether it's struggling through one more part-time job to keep my kids in college, learning to be a grandmother for the first time or having the courage to end a relationship with a wonderful friend who just wasn't the right one for me.

Jan may not have real flesh-and-blood arms, legs, hands or feet, but that woman has more heart and soul than anyone I've ever met before or since. She taught me to grab on to every "new and different" thing that comes into my life with all the gusto I can muster . . . to live my life triumphantly.

Success is hard work ....so are failures

Success is Hard Work, But So Is Failure

by Ryan Puusaari in Achievement, Motivation & Inspiration, Success Principles

“Some people dream of success . . . while others wake up and work hard at it.”

Every action has consequences. Likewise, non-action also has its own set of consequences. While it may seem to be the path of less resistance to refrain from working toward your goals, it is an illusion. It may seem easier to sit around whining about your bad luck while you envy what others have.

You may think that you are traveling the easiest path while you seek shortcuts and avoid the “big risks,” but all those things that you fail to do will come back to haunt you later. See, what you do not realize is that you are working just as hard at failure or maintaining the status-quo as you would be working toward success.

Consider for a moment all that you do (or don’t do for that matter!) and the amount of energy that you afford those actions. Either put forth the effort or you resist it. You leave your mark on everything that you do. Think of it as an investment in your energy. If you continue to avoid things that are too scary or difficult, you are investing your energy in non commitment and resistance, neither of which are productive pursuits.

When you fail to invest your energy into your success, you are destined to follow a path of failure. True, it takes a great deal of hard work to continue to resist taking the actions that will put you where you want to be in your life. It takes a lot of energy to keep coming up with excuses for why you are not doing the things that you want to do.

It takes a lot of effort to keep seeking excuses and reasons beyond your own shortcomings and inhibitions to blame for your lack of progress. It likely takes a lot of time and energy to convince others that you are an innocent victim of circumstance.

Your excuses are nonsense. Think about it. Wouldn’t it be easier to go ahead and do the things that you want to do? Wouldn’t it be easier to stop wasting your precious time and energy on making excuses and instead direct it to getting to work on making success happen for you? It may seem scary to go about it in this manner, but it will pay off in the long run.

At the very least you will not have to contend with lackluster results and negative consequences that stem from failing to pursue the things that you want in life. Once you realize that you already direct your energy toward something, albeit unproductive and stagnant, wouldn’t it be more prudent to redirect that energy to make the life that you want? If may seem more difficult at first than your present state of avoidance, but it is far more gratifying in the end.

Challenges

Everyone has challenges in their life. Even though challenges can help to spur a person on, many of us find them a strain. Without challenges people would never move forward, would never achieve their goals and would never change and grow as a person.

Knowing that challenges are beneficial often makes them less problematic and can even be a basis for dealing with whatever problem you face next. It is always a good idea to reflect on what you want from life and to make the necessary changes to ensure your happiness.

Dealing with Challenges

It does us good to remember that most problems are short lived. When you are faced with a serious challenge, it is always a good idea to remember that even the worst situation is temporary and will eventually pass. It is all too easy to become entangled in a situation, which makes it difficult to see that there is always light at the end of a tunnel.

Sometimes we need help to deal with the problems that we face. It is all too easy to think that we are alone when this is often not the case. Those around us are usually more than ready to help, and if the situation demands it, we can always turn to a professional. It is very true to say that when we share a problem, the stress we feel is often lessened.

Problems and challenges are a lot easier to deal with if they are broken down into steps. We are too inclined to look at things as a whole, which can make challenges seem insurmountable. Take stock of the challenges in your life, you will feel less overwhelmed if you take each situation one step at a time. Many people find that positive thinking is a better way to deal with the problems they face.

An increasing number of people use positive statements, either written down or memorized to enable them to deal with problems as they come up. Positive statements or affirmations as they are often called are a good way of banishing unhelpful thoughts and feelings. More individuals find that a positive attitude is the best way to deal with problems, both large and small.

Using affirmations in your life is simply an extension of positive thinking. Positive statements or affirmations commonly make use of phrases such as I can or I am, saying, doing or being something. When you repeat your affirmations each morning you strengthen positive thoughts and actions in your life. Depending on the person, affirmations may be stated at a particular hour of the day, or they may only be used when the person is confronted by a problem or challenge.

It is not easy to deal with the challenges in your life, but overcoming them is a necessary part of knowing yourself and what you want out of life. More often than not you can deal with challenges by using one of the above means, and sometimes you will need more than one method. Everyone develops their own means of solving problems, nonetheless, positive thinking should never be discounted. Thinking positively helps you to recognize the value of every problem or challenge that you are confronted with.