P.R.A.I.S.E

The importance of motivation was demonstrated early last century by Lewis Terman, a pioneer in the measurement of mental abilities. He tested a quarter of a million school children and found about 0.5 percent to be highly gifted.

Terman followed up 25 years later and found, not surprisingly, that most were holding high positions in their careers. However, a number of them had become manual labourers,working as fitters, petrol-pump attendants and similar jobs. These gifted children failed to succeed in life because they lacked the urge to succeed. They lacked motivation. Terman compared them to Rolls-Royces with magnificent engines,but no petrol in the tank.

From personal experience, I can affirm that tools and techniques are useless if you lack the motivation to succeed. It is like giving the best tools to a worker who is not motivated.He will not create anything meaningful.

Once, a social worker told me about a mother, a corporate high-flyer, who spent little time with her family. She felt bad about it and tried to compensate by giving her children lots of pocket money and the best of everything. One day, she bought her two sons the best computers, thinking it would make them study better. Instead, the boys spent their entire time playing computer games and totally neglected their studies. When she unplugged the computers, her elder son scolded her with vulgarities, while her younger son, only 11 years old, beat her until she was bruised all over — and had to seek the social worker’s help.

Motivation has to come from within. Even young children need to motivate themselves. Parents and other family members

can, however, encourage them, counsel them and offer moral support.

I succeeded with the help of PRAISE, a life skills model that I developed from the study of strategy whilst in the

navy. PRAISE provides the SUCCESS 6 Formula:

• Set the Prizedream. This will initiate the process of change and lead you to discover a lifetime CHANGE formula.

• Use internal Rules. When you are guided by your own internal rules, you learn to think out of the box. This gives you a lifetime CREATIVITY formula.

• Conduct Analysis. Examine the factors that are for or against you and identify the higher cause that drives you. This is your lifetime PASSION formula.

• Cultivate I nvincibility. Acquire the virtues that lead to invincibility. These give you a lifetime FULFILMENT formula.

• E xecute the S trategy. Learn from your failures. Turn setbacks into opportunities and weaknesses into strengths.This ongoing process equips you with a lifetime LEARNING formula.

• S ustain E xcellence. Achieve it not once or twice, but over and over again in a cycle of success unlimited. Acquire a

lifetime EXCELLENCE formula. And…

After I topped my master’s degree course, I went on to apply PRAISE in my corporate career, entrepreneurship and

other life’s challenges. I have been using the PRAISE model for over 20 years now and it has never failed me.

Dream Job

Susan was looking for a job, so she sent her resume all over town. She scoured the newspapers every day, and by the end of the month, Susan had applied to over one hundred openings. “Surely,” Susan thought, “I will find my dream job soon!”

But many days passed and Susan’s phone didn’t ring once. She began to worry – was there something wrong with her resume?

Finally, two weeks after she sent in her 107th resume, she got a call for her first interview!

Soon after, Susan got another two calls and she ended up with three interviews scheduled.

“Finally,” she thought, “I’m one step closer to my dream job!”

So Susan went to her interviews and she thought she made a wonderful impression, but to Susan’s disappointment, she only heard back about one job, and it was the lowest paid, least fulfilling opportunity of the three.

“Should I take it?”, she wondered.

The thought of working every day at a job she hated made her feel hopeless.

Susan was afraid she might not find anything else, so she accepted the job, but vowed to continue looking for something better. A few weeks after accepting the low-paying, unfulfilling job, Susan got a call from a company who hadn’t got back to her for weeks. It turns out they needed someone with Susan’s exact skill set!

Finally, after some hard work and persistence, Susan was offered the job of her dreams – the money was good

and it was just the kind of work she was looking for.

MORAL: Stay positive in the face of disappointment. New opportunities will appear when you least expect it. Wow! What a great reminder that discouragement is the number one enemy to our success! Discouragement is a more potent enemy than incompetence, more potent than illness, and more potent than poverty. All of those things can be overcome, but discouragement can overcome us if we allow it to! Everyone has down times and things don’t always go our way. But of course, everything can’t always go our way! If we were successful 100% of the time, we’d never try harder to get better, quicker, wiser, and kinder – we’d just wallow in our same old boring routine.

So look at the disappointment in your life as an opportunity to gain. Strive to do what needs to be done, then look for a way to do it better! There’s always a way around an obstacle.

Susan didn’t give up when she didn’t hear anything after she sent her first resume, nor did she give up after her hundredth resume. She always kept moving one foot in front of the other and disallowed discouragement from keeping her down. When Susan took the job that seemed to be a dead end, she still didn’t give up. She took the job that was offered and kept looking for something better. She knew something else was out there... and there was!

When we put in our best effort, we create opportunities, we find opportunities, and opportunities find us. When we allow disappointment and discouragement to take over, we don’t see the hidden gems right in front of our own faces!

What if Susan had stopped her pursuit of her dream job when she took the dead end position? What if she had allowed her disappointment to dictate her actions? What if she ignored the phone call about her dream job offer? Well, she wouldn’t be very happy at all! She would be suffering an inner tension day in and day out.

We’re so busy feeling sorry for ourselves that we often miss the chance to grow in patience, peace and serenity as we work and wait for better chances to come along. Opportunities will come. They always do when we work, wait and watch for them.

Self-Reflection Questions:

• When I face disappointment, how do I react?

• Do I have a strategy for moving forward if the path I’m on now seems like a dead end?

• What can I do to prepare myself to grow and learn from discouragement?

• How many times have I allowed discouragement to keep me from new opportunities?

Your wake up call

You've already heard about her.

Perhaps you have even seen her.

If you haven't you should.

Above all the roar and thunder. Above all the praise and cheering. Far above all else, there is a message here for all of us.

I love happy endings. I love when the under dog wins against all odds. The David and Goliath stories take my heart and squeezes it until I can no longer restrain myself. I will jump up and cheer. I will shout to roof tops in celebration.

Every once in awhile the world is reminded that we put frivilous, fake and superficial ahead of reason, compassion and dignity.

Then God steps in and says "look...you are a masterpiece. You are a bright shining example of my work. Lift up your head and hold it high! Your gifts may not be obvious to the world, but who are they to judge my creation!"

Today, break the bonds that tie you down. Loosen the grip you have held on words like "not good enough," "failure," "ugly," "useless," "unworthy," and "hopeless."

You may indeed need to work harder. You may have to fight prejudice. You may be ridiculed and mocked for even thinking you can succeed. But you are His child. You are better than all of that. You are more than you ever imagined and greater than all you believe.

Stand up! Get moving! Start planning! Discover today what God sees in you, by asking Him to reveal it in all of its glory.

You need not stand on a stage, in a spot light, write an epic novel or discover the cure for cancer. But you must, I repeat, you MUST, live up to your full potential. Perhaps as a wife, mother, husband, father, teacher, mechanic, singer, dancer, painter, friend, lover, janitor, plumber or anything you believe is your gift to the world.

For as the ugly duckling became the graceful swan, you will develop into the perfection only you can be. The greatest, shining example of YOU!

Now, go and watch this ordinary, simple, woman who is mocked by the crowd and judges until...until God said "Shut up and listen! She is my Child!"

Word of affirmation...

It was a Monday morning. A dark, wet Noveber morning when it seemed like it would take a million years to get to summer again. So dark I was sure I did not even remember what summer looked like anymore. And no affirmation seemed to work. I thought bears got it right - what a perfect idea to sleep through the lousiest part of the year and wake up when spring came!

I got into a conversation with a coworker about this when I got to work.

- You don't think words of affirmation work? He asked me.

- Today - no.

- I used to think so too, he said, - Until I realized the effect my words had on a certain person.

- What do you mean?

- Well, it was someone I knew pretty well. I have to say I treated him rather badly.

- You? But you are always so positive! How did you treat him badly?

- I told him I did not like anything about him, really. I looked at him and said he had grown a belly. That his face was sagging. His hair was thinning. I told him I did not even like his name.

I could not find words. I just did not believe him. He could see what I was thinking and nodded.

- I swear this is true. You can imagine what it did to his self esteem. If we hear such negative affirmations about ourselves, we tend to believe them, don't you agree?

Well I sure agreed.

- I still cannot believe you! I said, - You are always encouraging others. How can it be possible you would have said such words to anyone you know?

- Such words and even more, he nodded, - Now I am not proud of myself, but I thought this would be useful for you to know when you wonder if words of affirmation work.It wasn't only what I said - I also did pretty bad things to him. When he was feeling low, I did not want to sympathize but told him he should snap out of it and play cheerful. When he was hungry I did not give him a chance to eat proper food. When he felt like doing something fun I said to him that he was being childish and having fun was not productive. After all he was always short on cash so obviously he was a lazy worker.

- No...

- And worst of all - when he was sick and needed care, I did not care. I told him to get up and get to work. And when he did, I never told him he did good work. Oh no, I only told him he could do better.

I knew my coworker had been a boss at a smaller firm before. But still - surely he would never have behaved in such a way towards his employees?

- You could say I was ashamed of him, he said, - I wanted to get rid of him because he just wasn't good enough for me - but couldn't.

- But… That was heartless!

He nodded.

- I agree. I was a horrible person. I was cruel towards him. And I could see the effect of my words on him. He was depressed most of the time, tried to drown his sorrows by watching TV, drinking too much and calling in sick when ever he could.

- Well no wonder! I exclaimed, - But I have to say I never would have believed you could behave in such a way!

- Then one day it all changed, he said.

- What happened?

- I stood there in front of the bathroom mirror one morning. I saw the dark circles under his eyes, I saw the excess weight. I saw the hair that needed cutting. And I saw the eyes that once had looked at the world eagerly. Now they were so sad and tired. And there and then I realized he deserved better.I knew the time had come to start finding good things about myself.So I told the man whom I had disliked so many years that he was a good person after all. I decided to like every likeable thing about myself and tell it to myself too.

My jaw dropped.

- Yes. The man I disliked all those years was me. When I started working on liking myself, and telling that to myself every morning in front of the bathroom mirror, miracles began to happen. I reversed the negativity of the past. Positive words of affirmation have had a great effect!

I looked at him - full of positive energy, in good shape, always ready to encourage others.

- Wow…

He winked his eye.

- So how about having a little positive conversation with the bathroom mirror? The person in there has the greatest effect on you!

Will Power

The year 1993 wasn't shaping up to be the best year of my life. I was into my eighth year as a single parent, had three kids in college, my unmarried daughter had just given birth to my first grandchild and I was about to break up with a very nice man I'd dated for over two years. Faced with all this, I was spending lots of time feeling sorry for myself.

That April, I was asked to interview and write about a woman who lived in a small town in Minnesota. So during Easter vacation, Andrew, my thirteen-year- old, and I drove across two states to meet Jan Turner.

Andrew dozed most of the way during the long drive, but every once in a while I'd start a conversation.

"She's handicapped, you know."

"So what's wrong with her? Does she have a disease?"

"I don't think so. But for some reason, she had to have both arms and legs amputated."

"Wow. How does she get around?"

"I'm not sure. We'll see when we get there."

"Does she have any kids?"

"Two boys - Tyler and Cody - both adopted. She's a single parent, too. Only she's never been married."

"So what happened to her?"

"Four years ago Jan was just like me, a busy single mother. She was a full-time music teacher at a grade school and taught all sorts of musical instruments. She was also the music director at her church."

Andrew fell asleep again before I could finish telling him what little I did know about what had happened to Jan. As I drove across Minnesota, I began to wonder how the woman I was about to meet could cope with such devastating news that all four limbs had to be amputated. How did she learn to survive? Did she have live-in help?

When we arrived in Willmar, Minnesota, I called Jan from our hotel to tell her that I could come to her house and pick her and the boys up, so they could swim at our hotel while we talked.

"That's okay, Pat, I can drive. The boys and I will be there in ten minutes. Would you like to go out to eat first? There's a Ponderosa close to your hotel."

"Sure, that'll be fine," I said haltingly, wondering what it would be like to eat in a public restaurant with a woman who had no arms or legs. And how on earth does she drive? I wondered.

Ten minutes later, Jan pulled up in front of the hotel. She got out of the car, walked over to me with perfect posture on legs and feet that looked every bit as real as mine, and extended her right arm with its shiny hook on the end to shake my hand. "Hello, Pat, I'm sure glad to meet you. And this must be Andrew."

I grabbed her hook, pumped it a bit and smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yes, this is Andrew." I looked in the back seat of her car and smiled at the two boys who grinned back. Cody, the younger one, was practically effervescent at the thought of going swimming in the hotel pool after dinner.

Jan bubbled as she slid back behind the driver's seat, "So hop in. Cody, move over and make room for Andrew."

We arrived at the restaurant, went through the line, paid for our food, and ate and talked amidst the chattering of our three sons. The only thing I had to do for Jan Turner that entire evening was unscrew the top on the ketchup bottle.

Later that night, as our three sons splashed in the pool, Jan and I sat on the side and she told me about life before her illness.

"We were a typical single-parent family. You know, busy all the time. Life was so good, in fact that I was seriously thinking about adopting a third child."

My conscience stung. I had to face it - the woman next to me was better at single parenting than I ever thought about being.

Jan continued. "One Sunday in November of 1989, I was playing my trumpet at the front of my church when I suddenly felt weak, dizzy and nauseous. I struggled down the aisle, motioned for the boys to follow me and drove home. I crawled into bed, but by evening I knew I had to get help."

Jan then explained that by the time she arrived at the hospital, she was comatose. Her blood pressure had dropped so much that her body was already shutting down. She had pneumococcal pneumonia, the same bacterial infection that took the life of Muppets creator Jim Henson. One of its disastrous side effects is an activation of the body's clotting system, which causes the blood vessels to plug up. Because there was suddenly no blood flow to her hands or feet, she quickly developed gangrene in all four extremities. Two weeks after being admitted to the hospital, Jan's arms had to be amputated at mid-forearm and her legs at mid-shin.

Just before the surgery, she said she cried out, "Oh God, no! How can I live without arms and legs, feet or hands? Never walk again? Never play the trumpet, guitar, piano or any of the instruments I teach? I'll never be able to hug my sons or take care of them. Oh God, don't let me depend on others for the rest of my life!"

Six weeks after the amputations as her dangling limbs healed, a doctor talked to Jan about prosthetics. She said Jan could learn to walk, drive a car, go back to school, even go back to teaching.

Jan found that hard to believe so she picked up her Bible. It fell open to Romans, chapter twelve, verse two: "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think. Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you."

Jan thought about that - about being a new and different person - and she decided to give the prosthetics a try. With a walker strapped onto her forearms near the elbow and a therapist on either side, she could only wobble on her new legs for two to three minutes before she collapsed in exhaustion and pain. Take it slowly, Jan said to herself. Be a new person in all that you do and think, but take it one step at a time.

The next day she tried on the prosthetic arms, a crude system of cables, rubber bands and hooks operated by a harness across the shoulders. By moving her shoulder muscles she was soon able to open and close the hooks to pick up and hold objects, and dress and feed herself. Within a few months, Jan learned she could do almost everything she used to do - only in a new and different way.

"Still, when I finally got to go home after four months of physical and occupational therapy, I was so nervous about what life would be like with my boys and me alone in the house. But when I got there, I got out of the car, walked up the steps to our house, hugged my boys with all my might, and we haven't looked back since."

As Jan and I continued to talk, Cody, who'd climbed out of the hotel pool, stood close to his mom with his arm around her shoulders. As she told me about her newly improved cooking skills, Cody grinned. "Yup," he said, "she's a better mom now than before she got sick, because now she can even flip pancakes!" Jan laughed like a woman who is blessed with tremendous happiness, contentment and unswerving faith in God.

Since our visit, Jan has completed a second college degree, this one in communications, and she is now an announcer for the local radio station. She also studied theology and has been ordained as the children's pastor at her church, the Triumphant Life Church in Willmar. Simply put, Jan says, "I'm a new and different person, triumphant because of God's unending love and wisdom."

After meeting Jan, I was a new and different person as well. I learned to praise God for everything in my life that makes me new and different, whether it's struggling through one more part-time job to keep my kids in college, learning to be a grandmother for the first time or having the courage to end a relationship with a wonderful friend who just wasn't the right one for me.

Jan may not have real flesh-and-blood arms, legs, hands or feet, but that woman has more heart and soul than anyone I've ever met before or since. She taught me to grab on to every "new and different" thing that comes into my life with all the gusto I can muster . . . to live my life triumphantly.

Success is hard work ....so are failures

Success is Hard Work, But So Is Failure

by Ryan Puusaari in Achievement, Motivation & Inspiration, Success Principles

“Some people dream of success . . . while others wake up and work hard at it.”

Every action has consequences. Likewise, non-action also has its own set of consequences. While it may seem to be the path of less resistance to refrain from working toward your goals, it is an illusion. It may seem easier to sit around whining about your bad luck while you envy what others have.

You may think that you are traveling the easiest path while you seek shortcuts and avoid the “big risks,” but all those things that you fail to do will come back to haunt you later. See, what you do not realize is that you are working just as hard at failure or maintaining the status-quo as you would be working toward success.

Consider for a moment all that you do (or don’t do for that matter!) and the amount of energy that you afford those actions. Either put forth the effort or you resist it. You leave your mark on everything that you do. Think of it as an investment in your energy. If you continue to avoid things that are too scary or difficult, you are investing your energy in non commitment and resistance, neither of which are productive pursuits.

When you fail to invest your energy into your success, you are destined to follow a path of failure. True, it takes a great deal of hard work to continue to resist taking the actions that will put you where you want to be in your life. It takes a lot of energy to keep coming up with excuses for why you are not doing the things that you want to do.

It takes a lot of effort to keep seeking excuses and reasons beyond your own shortcomings and inhibitions to blame for your lack of progress. It likely takes a lot of time and energy to convince others that you are an innocent victim of circumstance.

Your excuses are nonsense. Think about it. Wouldn’t it be easier to go ahead and do the things that you want to do? Wouldn’t it be easier to stop wasting your precious time and energy on making excuses and instead direct it to getting to work on making success happen for you? It may seem scary to go about it in this manner, but it will pay off in the long run.

At the very least you will not have to contend with lackluster results and negative consequences that stem from failing to pursue the things that you want in life. Once you realize that you already direct your energy toward something, albeit unproductive and stagnant, wouldn’t it be more prudent to redirect that energy to make the life that you want? If may seem more difficult at first than your present state of avoidance, but it is far more gratifying in the end.

Challenges

Everyone has challenges in their life. Even though challenges can help to spur a person on, many of us find them a strain. Without challenges people would never move forward, would never achieve their goals and would never change and grow as a person.

Knowing that challenges are beneficial often makes them less problematic and can even be a basis for dealing with whatever problem you face next. It is always a good idea to reflect on what you want from life and to make the necessary changes to ensure your happiness.

Dealing with Challenges

It does us good to remember that most problems are short lived. When you are faced with a serious challenge, it is always a good idea to remember that even the worst situation is temporary and will eventually pass. It is all too easy to become entangled in a situation, which makes it difficult to see that there is always light at the end of a tunnel.

Sometimes we need help to deal with the problems that we face. It is all too easy to think that we are alone when this is often not the case. Those around us are usually more than ready to help, and if the situation demands it, we can always turn to a professional. It is very true to say that when we share a problem, the stress we feel is often lessened.

Problems and challenges are a lot easier to deal with if they are broken down into steps. We are too inclined to look at things as a whole, which can make challenges seem insurmountable. Take stock of the challenges in your life, you will feel less overwhelmed if you take each situation one step at a time. Many people find that positive thinking is a better way to deal with the problems they face.

An increasing number of people use positive statements, either written down or memorized to enable them to deal with problems as they come up. Positive statements or affirmations as they are often called are a good way of banishing unhelpful thoughts and feelings. More individuals find that a positive attitude is the best way to deal with problems, both large and small.

Using affirmations in your life is simply an extension of positive thinking. Positive statements or affirmations commonly make use of phrases such as I can or I am, saying, doing or being something. When you repeat your affirmations each morning you strengthen positive thoughts and actions in your life. Depending on the person, affirmations may be stated at a particular hour of the day, or they may only be used when the person is confronted by a problem or challenge.

It is not easy to deal with the challenges in your life, but overcoming them is a necessary part of knowing yourself and what you want out of life. More often than not you can deal with challenges by using one of the above means, and sometimes you will need more than one method. Everyone develops their own means of solving problems, nonetheless, positive thinking should never be discounted. Thinking positively helps you to recognize the value of every problem or challenge that you are confronted with.

Sometimes & Always

Sometimes occasionally goes by the rules but mostly does his own thing. He is more worried about being everyone's friend than doing his school work. He gets into trouble a lot but managed to charm his way through it. His parents have gone to school a lot to have parent teacher conferences.

Always is a boy who always goes by the book, never breaks the rules and is never in trouble. He always pleased his family and friends and never let them down. He is usually stressed out and gets headaches and stomach aches from stress.

Always became very ill one day and had to be rushed to the hospital. The doctors were baffled at what could be wrong with him. Many tests were run and in the end they were inconclusive. He was released and went home only to be stressed some more about missing school and possibly letting everyone down if he received a grade less than an A.

Now sometimes was doing poorly in school and he knew it. He decided that he would just do what he could to get by, he thought " Why should I stress out look what happened to Always."

Well Always was having the same thoughts " Why should I stress and make myself sick, sometimes gets by ok" and at that time he started missing school and just barely got passing grades.

Their parents decided to sit the boys down and talk to them and tell them that they just need to do their best and that is all that can be asked of them. They do not need to stress and get ill but also do not slack off and get failing grades.

Their parents just wanted them to know that whatever they did they would be proud of them as long as they did their best.

Finally, Sometimes spoke up and said " You mean even if we don't do well all the time that you will still love us and be proud of us ?? " The parents answered the question, "yes we will love you , ALWAYS !!!!"

The moral is,

do your best at whatever you do that is all that can be expected of you and you will turn out just fine your parents will love you no matter what.

Simple Message

We sat outside in the waiting room on a long wooden bench. Big metal, double doors separated us from our final destination. The familiar warning signs indicating that radiation was prevalent in the area was posted along several walls and on the big doors. Week after week we took our seats, almost silently. Sometimes the same faces would nod to one another, but usually there was a stillness and the endless time spent waiting until a name was called......then the doors would open briefly to allow the patient to enter. This was the routine.

As the holidays approached, someone in the hospital decided it would be "cheery" to decorate these doors with Christmas wrapping paper and run ribbon up the middle and across to simulate a present. It was a genuine gesture of kindness, but somehow it seemed oddly peculiar.

But, one day, as we all sat there in silence, I saw a small corner of wrapping paper still taped to the door. Someone had forgotten to remove all of the paper. Here it was nearly Easter, I thought, and Christmas paper was still in our presence. So....I reached down to remove the torn and tattered corner.

Then, something caught my eye. The word "JOY" was imprinted on this small scrap of paper...paper barely large enough to contain these three letters. I was weary and tired and drained. How, I thought, could one find "JOY" in any of this? Certainly, I felt no such feeling. There was no trash container in sight, so I put the scrap of paper into my purse, thinking I would discard it later.

Months passed. There were good days, and not so good days. Consultations, decisions, hospitalizations, appointments. Then one day while waiting outside these same doors I decided to go through my purse and discard some of the items that so mysteriously seemed to collect in my handbag. At the bottom of my purse, I found the small scrap of Christmas paper. "Joy" it said. Yes, I remembered where it came from.....from right over there on that big metal door. Here it was nearly Easter. It seemed years had passed since Christmas. How strange that I still had this paper in my purse.

As I held it in my hand, I prayed: "Dear God, please be with my son today as he takes his final radiation treatment." It was a simple prayer, but sincere. A few moments later I was escorted into the doctor's office, and subsequently joined by my son. It was evident the news was good, for there were smiles on the doctors' faces. There would be no further radiation treatments. The scans indicated the tumor was gone. I've kept that small scrap of paper in my wallet as a reminder. God had sent me a message.....months before. I just didn't know it.

Seventeen years have passed, and today I will be babysitting three little boys.....my son's sons. As I look at them and recall this time so many years gone by.....oh, the joy that fills my soul! Thank you God for that simple message you sent my way so long ago, printed on torn Christmas paper. I thank you for the joy and love you show me daily....in so many different ways.

Customer Delight

I was ready for a flight destined to Houston, en route to my home. I had a tight connection. But I’m an optimist by default. So I was in strong spirits. And set to fly.

The initial delay was 30 minutes. Something about the plane having to be towed from another area to the gate (not sure why someone didn’t tow it over earlier but no worries; there are worse things happening in the world). 30 minutes stretched to an hour. Nearly zero communication nor explanation. The gate agents just typed frenetically on the keyboards as in one of the final scenes of the pretty-much-hilarious “Meet The Parents” movie.

Finally, we boarded. The captain then came on the PA and advised us of a “minor mechanical problem that should be fixed in 15 minutes.” Four hours later we were still on the runway.

When we eventually took off, I’d missed my connection and resigned myself to the adventure of an unexpected evening in Houston (great city). Through it all, no one from the airline said “Sorry”, the gate agents promised at the arrival gate were invisible and no plans were made for hotel accomodations or ground transport. No one seemed to care (when a business treats its people poorly, its people treat their customers poorly – except for the one in one hundred soul who rises above it all because of their personal belief system and Leads Without a Title).

Look, I’m not complaining. Not at all. Delays and disruption are the price of admission for a professional traveler. I had books to read, water to drink and my iPod with hundreds of audiobooks just begging to be consumed. I’m not so special (and certainly no different from you) but I was able to maintain a sense of perspective about the whole thing. But the experience did fine tune and bring into clearer focus the gorgeous opportunity every business has to breed customer loyalty and all -new levels of trust when things don’t go as planned.

Here are some of my thoughts on what a truly world-class airline that really cared about their customers would have done:

4 Keys To Delighting Your Customers

1. Talk To Your Customers: A problem is nothing more than an opportunity to engage and wow the people who keep you in business. The gate agents and personnel could have quickly and regularly explained the situation and assured us all possible progress was being made.

2. Say You’re Sorry: I’m a fanatic about leadership language. Words have such power. The captain talked a lot about “some more bad news”. Better to just give us the facts – and hold off on the emotion. But even more importantly, say “sorry” when you need to say sorry. Many of us missed our connections and were caused inconvenience because of this mechanical issue. Yet no one took responsibility.

3. Show Your Customers a Little Humanity: While we waited, the agents could have handed out bottles of water. Or had some protocol that would make a challenging situation easier (or even fun). Maybe the Plan B could have been a boxed sandwich. Or some special chocolates. Or just walking around checking in with as many passengers as possible to make human connections (I saw one passenger buy Chinese food and share it with people around him…shared decency amidst adversity).

4. Go Beyond Expectations: Most businesses don’t even deliver on what they promise in their advertising and sloganeering. Imagine, when we arrived in Houston (it was nearly midnight), if we were provided with transport to a hotel, a healthy meal, and a letter on check in wishing us a great night, while thanking us for giving the airline our business.

Business brilliance is pretty simple. Maybe not easy. But pretty simple. And it begins with caring about the people who keep you going.

Keep Leading Without A Title!

Positive Struggle

When I was thirteen my mom told my family that she had to tell us something. So my brother, dad, sister and I all sat down on the big chunky green sofa downstairs to begin the discussion. You could tell by the tense feel of the room that something was wrong. Then my mom began to speak and she told us that she has been diagnosed with breast cancer. That is when we all had a moment of sorrow and broke down and cried.

After that my mom had to travel to the hospital every day and she started chemo therapy. After a week or so of therapy she began to lose her hair and so she decided to shave it all off. My mom would always wear bright coloured scarfs and after a while decided to purchase a blond wig. Along with losing her hair she lost all her finger and toe nails, eye brows and eye lashes.

I remember there was a time when I went with my mom to the hospital. We were waiting in the waiting room for my mom to get her blood transfusion. When we were waiting we played hangman and tick-tack toe. Then we both burst out laughing our heads off non stop. Every one in the room was so down and here we were in the middle of the room laughing and we didn't care what people thought of us.

After about a year of chemo, blood transfusions, and pain, my mom said she had to tell us all something exciting. This time we were all seated at out dinner table. As my mom was about to tell us something a smile formed on her face and at that moment I knew that it was going to be something very exciting. She told us that she no longer has breast cancer and that she is now in remission!! At that moment I broke down in tears. But the tears that I shed were not tears of pain or sorrow, they were tears of pure joy and happiness. At that moment for the first time in a very long time I had a feeling that everything was going to be fine.

Now my mom is going on two years of remission, free of breast cancer. I am so happy that I have my mom with me today to be with me every step of the way. My mom taught me to cherish every moment you have and to remain positive through thick or thin. My mom is a very positive, strong kind person... she has taught me so much and continues to teach me more.

From this day on I have learned that I should cherish every moment I have, especially with my family :). I am so lucky to have my mom by my side.

My vehicle runs on Sweat.

That place had no taxi nor auto providing transport for short distances. One had to take to the 'cycle rickshaw'.

I called out for that old man in the waiting line and even as I hopped in, enquired how much he would charge to take me across to the Mall (about 2-3 kms away).

He said '10 bucks'. The middle class mentality got the better of me and I started bargaining and he just gave a hard smile and said "whatever you feel like please give me, I feel bad to bargain on this small amount".

I was a bit ashamed at myself and kept quiet while he continued.

"Unlike those taxis or autos my vehicle does not run on petrol or diesel or even gas, it runs on my sweat and no association or even government comes to help to decide what I can charge per kilometer.

So I do not have a meter or a rate card, whatever, you feel like, give me and please give it to me with a smile for this money has to feed so many hungry mouths at home."

I could sense his panting for breath even as he was pedaling the cycle which slowed down his speed of conversation considerably.

I felt sorry for him as we reached the Mall and I got down. I gave him the money with a smile as requested and on my part just added a gentle pat on his back.

He smiled back as if to give me a receipt and I am sure I am going to preserve his smile for a long time.

Little Lady :)

She was four years old when I first met her. She was carrying a bowl of soup. She had very, very fine golden hair and a little pink shawl around her shoulders. I was 29 at the time and suffering from the flu. Little did I realize that this little lady was going to change my life.

Her mom and I had been friends for many years. Eventually that friendship grew into care, from care into love, to marriage, and marriage brought the three of us together as a family. At first I was awkward because in the back of my mind, I thought I would be stuck with the dreaded label of "stepfather." And stepfathers were somehow mythically, or in a real sense, ogres as well as an emotional wedge in the special relationship between the child and the biological father.

Early on I tried hard to make a natural transition from bachelorhood to fatherhood. A year and a half before we married, I took an apartment a few blocks away from their home. When it became evident that we would marry, I tried to spend time to enable a smooth changeover from friend to father figure. I tried not to become a wall between my future daughter and her natural father. Still I longed to be something special in her life.

Over the years, my appreciation for her grew. Her honesty, sincerity and directness were mature beyond her years. I knew that within this child lived a very giving and compassionate adult. Still, I lived in the fear that some day, when I had to step in and be a disciplinarian, I might have it thrown in my face that I wasn't her "real" father. If I wasn't real, why would she have to listen to me? My actions became measured. I was probably more lenient than I wanted to be. I acted in that way in order to be liked, all the time living out a role I felt I had to live - thinking I wasn't good enough or worthy enough on my own terms.

During the turbulent teenage years, we seemed to drift apart emotionally. I seemed to lose control (or at least the parental illusion of control). She was searching for her identity and so was I. I found it increasingly hard to communicate with her. I felt a sense of loss and sadness because I was getting further from the feeling of oneness we had shared so easily in the beginning.

Because she went to a parochial school, there was an annual retreat for all seniors. Evidently the students thought that going on retreat was like a week at Club Med. They boarded the bus with their guitars and racquetball gear. Little did they realize that this was going to be an emotional encounter that could have a lasting impression on them. As parents of the participants, we were asked to individually write a letter to our child, being open and honest and to write only positive things about our relationship. I wrote a letter about the little golden- haired girl who had brought me a bowl of soup when I needed care. During the course of the week, the students delved deeper into their real beings. They had an opportunity to read the letters we parents had prepared for them.

The parents also got together one night during that week to think about and send good thoughts to our children. While she was away, I noticed something come out of me that I knew was there all along, but which I hadn't faced. It was that in order to be fully appreciated I had to plainly be me. I didn't have to act like anyone else. I wouldn't be overlooked if I was true to myself. I just had to be the best me I could be. It may not sound like much to anyone else, but it was one of the biggest revelations of my life.

The night arrived when they came home from their retreat experience. The parents and friends who had come to pick them up were asked to arrive early, and then invited into a large room where the lights were turned down low. Only the lights in the front of the room were shining brightly.

The students marched joyously in, all dirty-faced as though they had just come back from summer camp. They filed in arm-in-arm, singing a song they had designated as their theme for the week. Through their smudgy faces, they radiated a new sense of belonging and love and self-confidence.

When the lights were turned on, the kids realized that their parents and friends, who had come to collect them and share their joy, were also in the room. The students were allowed to make a few statements about their perceptions of the prior week. At first they reluctantly got up and said things like, "It was cool," and "Awesome week," but after a few moments you could begin to see a real vitality in the students' eyes. They began to reveal things that underscored the importance of this rite of passage. Soon they were straining to get to the microphone. I noticed my daughter was anxious to say something. I was equally anxious to hear what she had to say.

I could see my daughter determinedly inching her way up to the microphone. Finally she got to the front of the line. She said something like, "I had a great time and I learned a lot about myself." She continued, "I want to say there are people and things we sometimes take for granted that we shouldn't, and I just want to say...I love you, Tony."

At that moment my knees got weak. I had no expectations, no anticipation she would say anything so heartfelt. Immediately people around me started hugging me, and patting me on the back as though they also understood the depth of that remarkable statement. For a teenage girl to say openly in front of a room full of people, "I love you," took a great deal of courage. If there was something greater than being overwhelmed, I was experiencing it.

Since then the magnitude of our relationship has increased. I have come to understand and appreciate that I didn't need to have any fear about being a stepfather. I only have to concern myself with being the real person who can exchange honest love with the same little girl I met so many years before - carrying a bowl full of what turned out to be kindness.

Keep the motor idling !!!

I relate well to the comment made by Barbara Johnson: "Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." I know that if I can keep the motor idling, it will be ready to go when I need it.

A kindergarten teacher practiced keeping her motor idling. A story has it that she was helping one of her students put his snow boots on. He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, they finally succeeded and she had by now worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, "They're on the wrong feet."

She looked and, sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off, and then she had to wrestle the stubborn boots on again.

Just as she finished lacing them he announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue to keep from screaming, "Why didn't you say so?"

Once again she struggled to pull off the ill-fitting boots. He then calmly added, "They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear them." She began to realize how close she was to stripping her gears as she struggled with the boots yet again.

When they were finally laced, she said, "Now, where are your mittens?"

"I stuffed them in the toes of my boots," he said.

She may have been the same teacher who once commented about a particularly difficult child in her class, "Not only is he my worst behaved child this year, but he also has a perfect attendance record.

A Dutch proverb observes, "A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains." I may never have to worry about having a bushel of brains, but I can sometimes muster a handful of patience. And that should be enough.